I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Semen is not good for contacts.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
