Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
