I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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