Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
