there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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