pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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