haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
