Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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