Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize