I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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