batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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