it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
