he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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