And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
