Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
