help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
