Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
