You made me cry and you don't even care
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
