Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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