Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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