hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize