So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
