my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
