I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
