Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
