They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
