omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
this just has baby written all over it
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
