You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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