Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Panties = found
Randomize
