are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
