they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
