I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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