I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
