First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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