i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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