I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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