last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize