wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
