If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
