you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
