hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
