That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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