I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Green mimosas i think yes
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
