I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
