Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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