we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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