What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
All I want is dick and wine.
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