why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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