marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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