I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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