HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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