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I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
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