apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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