the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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