Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
