I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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