it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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